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| Position | Top player | Team ranking | Top prospect | Organizational ranking | Overall ranking |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Catchers | Turd Ferguson | 2nd | Sean Unmoore | Tied for 1st | 1st |
| First Basemen | Adam Confused | 5th | Gator Moody | 5th | 4th |
| Second Basemen | Krish Gainz | 6th | Tied for 3rd | 6th | |
| Third Basemen | Paddington Von Pippington | 6th | Tied for 1st | 6th | |
| Shortstops | Y'shtola Rhul | 1st | Tied for 6th | 4th | |
| Left Fielders | Griffin Stone | 7th | Dog Cam Now | 3rd | 4th |
| Center Fielders | Tied for 7th | Herbie Bananas | 4th | 8th | |
| Right Fielders | Ultra Nium | 7th | Tied for 3rd | 7th | |
| Starting Pitchers | Nicky Vaseline | 8th | Hugh Belongwithme [BOT] | 7th | 8th |
| Relievers | Twain Teetoo [BOT] | 6th | Blain K'Spais [BOT] | 9th | 6th |
| Closers | Twain Teetoo [BOT] | 9th | Blain K'Spais [BOT] | 9th | 9th |
