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| Name | Age | Pos | Contact | Gap | Power | Eye | Avoid K's |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aventurine | 27 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Press Duckley Jr. | 30 | CF | 79 | 41 | 55 | 78 | 67 |
| Olli Erikkson | 28 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Joshua Homme III Esquire Limited | 26 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 19 | 1 |
| Turd Ferguson | 27 | C | 61 | 70 | 90 | 69 | 60 |
| Alan Greer | 27 | SS | 73 | 30 | 24 | 30 | 69 |
| Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III | 32 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Chad Innings-Eater | 32 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Carlos Krash | 28 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Stetson Laramie | 30 | 1B | 74 | 50 | 105 | 70 | 70 |
| Goro Majima | 24 | 2B | 73 | 35 | 40 | 40 | 60 |
| Troy Monopolitzki | 27 | 3B | 65 | 45 | 50 | 60 | 60 |
| Player To Be Named Later | 29 | RF | 83 | 70 | 55 | 80 | 75 |
| William Nilliam | 27 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Doc Rock | 24 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 19 | 1 |
| Les Skoden | 31 | DH | 70 | 70 | 83 | 71 | 70 |
| CC Slothbia | 22 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 19 | 1 |
| Anthony Stover | 30 | P | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Faramir Took | 23 | LF | 57 | 40 | 20 | 51 | 50 |
| Name | Age | Role | Stuff | Movement | Control | Velocity | Stamina |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aventurine | 27 | SP | 44 | 68 | 67 | 88-90 Mph | 30 |
| Olli Erikkson | 28 | RP | 105 | 58 | 75 | 98-100 Mph | 50 |
| Joshua Homme III Esquire Limited | 26 | SP | 102 | 74 | 75 | 95-97 Mph | 50 |
| Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III | 32 | SP | 111 | 78 | 84 | 96-98 Mph | 50 |
| Chad Innings-Eater | 32 | SP | 111 | 74 | 85 | 96-98 Mph | 50 |
| Carlos Krash | 28 | CL | 105 | 77 | 102 | 91-93 Mph | 30 |
| William Nilliam | 27 | RP | 119 | 69 | 70 | 100+ Mph | 30 |
| Doc Rock | 24 | RP | 108 | 60 | 73 | 98-100 Mph | 50 |
| CC Slothbia | 22 | RP | 105 | 55 | 63 | 96-98 Mph | 30 |
| Anthony Stover | 30 | SP | 106 | 68 | 69 | 91-93 Mph | 50 |
